Humour: Starting Off New Year With Some Strange Obituaries

Our Humour Section (under Voice of The People above) has been brimming over with contributions this last year and the New Year looks like more of the same. Have a look and tell us what you think. Send us something funny too.

Click To Enlarge Photos
Obituary #1

Dolares Aguilar has passed away. This, her obituary, appears in the Times-Herald Napa/Sonoma paper: Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing… There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart.

It’s really nice to feel loved

—
Obituary #2

Louis Casimir, a retired University English professor, wrote it himself before he passed on. Louis J. Casimir Jr. bought the farm Thursday, Feb. 5, 2004, having lived more than twice as long as he had expected and probably three or four times as long as he deserved.

Although he was born into an impecunious family, in a backward and benighted part of the country at the beginning of the Great Depression, he never in his life suffered any real hardships. Many of his childhood friends who weren’t killed or maimed in various wars became petty criminals, prostitutes, and/or Republicans. Lou was a daredevil: his last words were “Watch this!”

—
Obituary #3

Jim Adams, didn’t die the way he wanted: which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date…

—

To Contribute to Humour Simply Send Us An Email At: editor@abbotsfordtoday.ca Or Use The Comments Box At The Bottom Of The Page.

For More Humour Check The Humour Section Under Feature Sections At The Top Of The Page or Simply Click Here.